. Four and twenty highballs It is a sign of appreciation and acceptance of the toast. 7.) Gets rid of the pain of being a man. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/SubAmariWant to work with us? These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. Here's to you. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. If youre going to cheat, cheat death. We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. Scott Fitzgerald. Fuc-King! Time is a waste of life. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. It is customary to take a sip of your drink when someone toasts you. 22. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. My New Years Eve Toast: to all the devils, lusts, passions, greeds, envies, loves, hates, strange desires, enemies ghostly and real, the army of memories, with which I do battle may they never give me peace.Patricia Highsmith, 72.) May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. If drinking beer, Could bring her back here, I'd drink the damn place dry, Yes, I'd drink the damn place dry! So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner. May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says:This drinks on me.. [1970, I drank to your health alone. And damn your souls, Ill drink it. A Christmas wish May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten., #26. It makes you fight with your neighbor. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. ". Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Heres to it, and from it, and to it again, and if you dont do it when you get to it, you may never get to it to do it again! Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,Sermons and soda-water the day after.Lord Byron, 77.) But almost all of them are the perfect toasts for shots. Here are some funny Irish toasts that are easy to memorize. 5.) Spanish, I used to know a clever toast This Irish toast is perfect for you if you are an honest fellow. To our wives and girlfriends May they never meet., 8. "May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.". Dance like nobodys watching.Satchel Paige, 73.) I, Roman Marshanski, based this toast on one of the jokes of a famous comedian. When the glass is full, Drink up! Some ships are wooden ships. Pre D-Day Toast, In my own country If you fight, may you fight for a brother. Our friends always do 28.) The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present., #8. When I like them, I kiss them. AI created all these toasts about aliens.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Do you like the funny toasts youve just read? Throw hand grenades. Heres to alcohol,Which often makes one see doubleAnd feel single. Here's to "The Usual". Which Star Wars character is your soulmate? 2. May you live to be as old as your jokes., #9. To Hell: may the stay there be as fun as the way there. 24.) ", "Here's to the storks that bring good babies, the crows that bring bad babies, and the swallows that bring no babies at all! To somebody, somewhere 40.) 41.) Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. Never declines one for the road. Petes opens in Ybor City, Davis Islands Bayou Bodega closes, and more Tampa Bay foodie news, St. Pete's plant-based sushi restaurant House of Vegano will move into a new space on Central Avenue, Food From the Soul, a festival that highlights cuisine from people of color, happens in Tampa next month, Florida Avenue Brewing Co.s new Seminole Heights taproom soft opens next month, St. Pete Beach wine lounge Sea Grapes reopens next week as a full-service restaurant, Aldi grocery store opening at St. Petes Tyrone Square Mall. Famous Irish Blessing. May your life become better than the most delicious orange youve ever eaten. Suggested read: Top 9 Birthday Party Games for Adults. If youre going to drink, drink with me., 4. Love like youve never been hurt. Heres to the only day I will ever be a morning person, December 25th., #30. Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. Dont know if Ive lived in sin 17. Heres to the girls who doAnd heres to the girls who dontAnd heres to the girls who say they never will,But when the time comes, wont.But heres to the girls most of all,Who say they never will:I cant. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. Scottish, With this glass, rich and deep So someone get a ladder. Full of truth and full of fiction, please raise your glasses to our unbreakable addiction.. ", "May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. Everyone has a Star Wars soulmate! 83.) Heres to the land of the shamrock so green. Sleep like a lamb If youve ever found yourself drawing a blank, use these drinking toasts to your advantage and make everyone around you think youre one cool cat. Out with the old. Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. 35.) If you have a bawdy or erotic toast, please send it to me at . Sex and Love editor "May you live as . In the third year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbors listen., #16. ", "Here's to panties, they ain't the best thing in the world, but damn close to it! till it's out of me and out of you. Lord Byron, Heres to the bullets Heres to the women, with little pink shoes; who steal all our money and drink all our booze; now, shes not a virgin but thats not a sin, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. By S.J. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. 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If you have never made a toast or a speech before, dont fret. I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.Miguel de Cervantes, 76.) Time is never wasted. Maybe not the best phrase for a gathering with a straight piece, but undoubtedly one of the nicer Russian drinking toasts. Naturally, they have quite a few that are just right for New Year's Eve. The weird turn pro. With this said, where can I get the next cold beer bottle? Anonymous, Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. Anonymous, No one frolics May my stay there be as much fun as my way there! 11.) When we drink, we get drunk. When I meet them, I like them. May we be in heaven half an hour before the Devil knows were dead., 26. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. Heres to the heat. And our ale never turn musty. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Anonymous, Heres to those who wish us well In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. below:Here's to me. When the liquor is inside,The pain goes elsewhere. 48.) May all your ups and downs be under the covers! Mirth and laughter 100 dirty jokes 1000 dirty jokes 50 dirty jokes 69 jokes a dirty joke absolutely hilarious jokes actually funny jokes adult humor adult joke of the day adult jokes bad dad jokes dirty bad dirty jokes bad jokes for adults . poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! 56.) And tell between the two. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.Holly Black, 63.) 1.) I shant. Not as sweet as a womans lips So if you like this, Heres to the hot messes, the ones who somehow manage to turn every situation into a disaster. 25.) 84.) 42.) 1. 1. Like we alcoholics. This is such a big honor for me to toast you. -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. If you Steal, may you steal a lovers heart. Don't worry if your wedding doesn't have a bride or best man - these toasts are all easily adaptable and will all get a good laugh from your guests. Heartbreak makes you wiser. Irish, Heres to the man who takes the pledge But a damn sight more sincere. 30. An Irish Toast for a Bachelor. I'm Rosemarie Hardison. 2. I dont know half of you half as well as I should like;and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Heres hoping you live forever. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.. All Illustrations: Aida Amer (Glassware: Boleslaw Kubica/ Shutterstock) Raise your glass and sing a song of celebration! To h: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. 7. Some people drink from a glass half empty and some drink from a glass half full. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Heres to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. Its on youse. Learn more about one of Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. And if you drink, may you drink with me. I have a great fear of falling. 23. I am strong And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. A child every year to you. Others are long but great toasts for drinking that are perfect for telling your close friends. 13. May you meet drop-dead gorgeous women when they are horniest. Youre a gentleman and a scholar and a good judge of bad liquor. When a ghost drinks boos, they get sheet-faced. Thats right, our robot overlords have infiltrated the world of comedy. In ancient Greece, cheersing while drinking has been an important tradition. Who keeps his word and does not hedge They are even wittier than the funny toasts youve read on this page. 36. In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens. I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one, I drink to you. 53.) Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. What's your favorite funny drinking toast? Anonymous, Let us have wine and women But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. Three of my favorite things. Two at the very most. May the roof above us never fall in,And may we friends gathered belowNever fall out. A cold drinkand another one. No retreat no surrender. 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