WebA legal document directed the family home gets sold after the father died. I told Ellen that since my brother has never married and has no kids that he has no where to go on Thanksgiving. Nothing, not when , how, where, why, nothing. It's very healthy to share these feelings with a loved one. They need to grieve and adjust. Just like in your case our Dad told us that if we didnt like it that was just too bad as he was a big boy and could act as he liked. NTA. I wasnt thrilled but she came and we had fun. That being said, the tide turned. I signed up for bike rides and rode any chance I got. We can plan and think well know how well react, but life just happens to all of us. We took care of our spouses at home, tube feeding, hospice, hospital visits, radiation therapy and chemotherapies. So, as a girlfriend, find a man that does not hurt his own children for the sake of a woman who was never the mother of his children and use the excuse of making him happy, time does not matter, and who cares about the fact that you have impacted in a very negative and damaging way the relationship in a family. All bets were off when she was in the house organizing stuff. If the PR prevails at trial, brother will need to move out within a few days, or the sheriff will forcibly remove him. We, siblings were there daily for them as they went through this and Dad was very needy, calling me 3 to 4 times a day, wanting me to come over and sit with him. I recall one of them telling my mom he was dead upon their arrival. He can have a lady friend. My husband and father-in-law were working together in a family print shop and had been for seven years. Forcing a new person on a family who are still going through that process with scant regard for their emotional state is not a thing that should be embarked on lightly. Their response is we are selfish and over-controlling for not allowing them to take the girls. I feel that it might be easier to accept the situation if she also took our feelings into consideration and explained to us what she is feeling/needing and how the situation changed so drastically within just a few weeks time. I have not met this woman, nor do I want to. My father and I were always close, and now I feel sad, hurt, rejected, angry and guilty. When someone dies, especially a mother, the significant other isnt the only one to suffer a loss, it involves the entire family. This is step choreography for the real world- it is a exact blend of fascinating movements but not too complicated. Perhaps the longer the marriage, the greater their need to have another companion someone to soothe their hurt. I dont know if this situation will ever be reparable. She is a horrible stupid butt who my dad even called psycho the other day yet continues to torment me with putting her shit all around my mothers moms house who of course both are dead. Everyone grieves whatever amount is right for them. The next morning when she was giving me the cold shoulder, i comfronted her. I felt willing it to her was a stupid decision on his part but there is nothing I can do about it. They will barely speak to him, yet he continues to talk to them about her and asks them if they like her or tells them how much he wants them to like her. Never been there but me and my wife are so close that I seriously worry what I would feel if she passed away before me. Once they were in the ambulance, they were able to get my dad on machines and his organs pumping again, but they would never pump on their own again. We're looking forward to. He really only cares about himself. My husband said he did not want my sister and myself to become her slaves. Keep it to yourself, lady!!). Im 14 and my mom passed away this year from breast cancer, and it was really hard on me because i was so close to my mom, not very close to my dad or brother. Proizvodi se mogu koristiti kao dopuna postojeoj terapiji. After my father and my dad also her mother was inheriting everything to keep a plant you may think about 25 and the same disease. I am still having a hard time coping with her death. The love that you have for your spouse and your children will never change. She still refuses to get a job and theyre struggling. I said I would call when I wanted so she unplugged the phone or the ringer of the phone. He was the best father and husband I could ask for. . Bravo! We can afford it, so I'm not complaining. His wife's. My question. The situation of being out of control brought me to the edge of anorexia. She lives about 20 minutes away and unlike my father, still drives. I sat there stunned. documentaries Jan. 30, 2023. Its been a little over 4 years since my mothers death. I nearly lost my breath! This is a big reason why I hate when people say bad things in general about religion. Dad and her were married 53 years. I guess since I was close to my mother, I just dont understand Ellens relationship with her sons. He knows that I do not approve, but he has told me on more than one occassion that he doesnt care what I think. Anyway, I am furious about this entire situation. Incidentally, he didnt really develop a new relationship with anyone, and somehow I tided over the resentment and anger and we came to a place of understanding took nearly 2 years though. Let go. He has never really been there financially even when my mother was alive, but I used to think its because He has lots of kids & He will one day change. The answers are NO. Well guys, I made it through Christmas and now into the New Year and hope you were able to cope with your Dads during the holidays. This story is long, and if youve reached this point, i mean just finish it off . As difficult as it is, the marriage vows are until death do us part. It would have been nice to have really gotten closer to Dad but that is simply not to be, It takes two people to want a relationship to work. This was on August 26. I hate the fact that someone like her came into our lives only to get what she was after for many years. I never excepted her at first, but then I excepted her and things were pretty all right. He has appeared on the "Grieving The Healing Heart" radio program and is published in the 2011 books, "Open To Hope, Inspirational Stories of Healing After Loss," "Grieving the Sudden Death of a Loved One" (2012, DVD), and Grief Diaries - Through the Eyes of Men (2016, book). On the contrary he thinks that he owes her because she moved and sold her house on retirement to live with him. The frustration in your post beneath your cheap shot of saying we should ignore very real and valid feelings to honor our mothers in heaven is sickening. They cannot commit 100% to you. They had small get-together at my Dads house after the wedding and my Dad simply did not look happy that night. I hope for your fathers and your sake that you can work this out, because to lose a daughters love is something that is unimaginable so I wish you the best. She was diagnosised with pancreatic cancer and only lived for 20 monthsthose 20 months were so hard on her. She has posted it on her Facebook, and texted my Dad about it. My mom died of cancer April 2013 and then this month, July 2014, my dad got a lady friend. I could never look myself in the mirror and feel good about it as a woman, a mother or person. I still have to remind myself that feeling guilty is not productive. Our own happiness comes with a price and if that price is our own kids, there is nothing worth losing them. After a year of my distancing myself and my family ,due to awkward and mean conversations with him, he called me one evening yelling swearing and finally telling me I was never to be in contact we him ever again, then hanging up on me! My father has no friends so thats why hes so desperate to be with her. I was shocked. The girl is only 25 years old. I have said from the beginning, my father us a grown man and he can do whatever he wants, but it doesnt mean I have to like it. I defy anyone to say that this does not demonstrate an obscene lack of decorum and sensitivity. (he has cancer) He read to her every night until she fell asleep. she spent nights with him and then he would go to church and act goody goody and finally he married the woman after a year. We have not even gone thru my moms stuff yet. Isnt it obvious that the reason my sister has the worst relationship of all with my dads wife is because she lost her relationship with my dad because of his relationship with his wife?? Two years is not nearly as long as many people might think when it relates to the loss of a loved one. Many hurtful things were said between my father and myself where we stopped talking and strained our relationship. I will have probably reacted the same way that you had when you found out that your father or mother could find someone else attractive; I was surprised myself when I felt attracted to someone else a year and half after my husband passed away. I have accepted the situation( he lives at her home since about 3 months after they started dating)and his condo is for sale now), I do know that I took my Dads death much harder than my mother did. She asked me and my fianc if we would come stay and help her out. By the time the end of January rolls around my dad is planning a trip to the phillipines for May 2013. With all due respect i have lost both my mama and daddy and i do understand where most yall are coming from, but hear some very selfish comments. We are not open about things at all, but a feeling is not always easy to hide. I will never be the mother of my future step-daughters nor I want to be. She never actually had to block it because after she went for my sister we all decided she was so unstable and volatile it was not safe for us to go. I raninto my parents room and found my mom screaming and crying over my dads body. Having to have chemo weekly with only a few breaks in between, left her very ill during the process. He makes zero effort to chat when I visit and tells me they both talk to each other all the time. You are married and have a child. I live in a different city than my dad, so I think it hit home for him when he could see how physically upset I was. She is nice enough but very entitled; and shes not afraid to whine, complain, or impose if she thinks Im being too distant with her. In the end my father refused help. If I try to clean (I want to contribute to the house somehow), it gets misconstrued as me trying to take over and not allowing her to make it her home. We ask only that we be allowed the to take time to grieve before spending time with the new love of his life. From this minute I got there that morning, my sister was already there, and Dad he kept trying to rush the evadible . I just want to thank everyone for their postings. Im fine with my daddy being happy, but IM HIS DAUGHTER, his wifes child, his first child. We took care of our spouses at home, tube feeding, hospice, hospital visits, radiation therapy and chemotherapies. Speaking of clothes, she has over 28 bathing suits that she has made. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. The bushes were drying out because they were too big and not getting enough water, when its been over 110 degrees here for many many days. Then he met the one we didnt, not because we didnt try because we did. As it has only been 5 months since they lost their mother, their father has starting seeing another woman. Ive tried reminding him that while our mom was still alive, it was normal and non-threatening for us each to have our separate relationships with our mom and with our dad, and then the combined relationship with all. Why is running her kids than megan! I feel she is trying to push a wedge between my father and his family. She was so quiet and boring, nothing like my mom at all. He was not there for my husband as my husband went through the grief that his mothers death left. And the really bad part is, there is NOTHING that can ever change this. These adult kids need to mind their own businessget a life, get a job>support their self. She will not go to hospitals with him as she doesnt like waiting around.My father says he is grateful to us but cannot comprehend the irritation and annoyance his behaviour causes. My dad starts seeing a woman from his work THE NEXT friggin day, I hear them have sex the first week after mom dies, this has been very traumatizing to me and my grieving. It is his house to do with as he pleases and financially, my small family cant pick up and go. I feel at this point that my dad died too. I cannot understand their position. I miss my husband with all of my heart and would do anything to have our life back and the way it used to be. It seems more like she is having a party instead of respecting my fathers memory. The women he dated didnt respond to him like he had hoped. I felt this as I jumped off a waterfall in Ithaca the summer before my junior year of college when I decided to move to upstate New York for the summer. For me, it shows a lack of regard to go out and re-marry within a year of your spouses/partners death. Maybe they suit each other if they are that mixed up! My dad died of cancer lung and colon November 2008. I'm so, so sorry for your loss- You sound like an incredible and caring family, and losing a member of that family must be really difficult for all of you. My heart eyes goes way up every time she messes up our home, bleaching the carpet, breaking things cuz she mindlessly pulls stuff too hard or carelessly. The same goes for everything you have in life; you never know when your life will change, and you may not have a roof over your head or a hot meal to eat. I, too, was very close to my mom. We do not want to lose our relationship with our dad completely, and we know it would upset him not to have us in his life at all, but there is no give and take, not compromise, no willingness to try to accept our feelings. We dont have to be happy about this situation, and I dont have to have them over for dinner every week, but my Father-in-law can still be in our lives and I can be civil to this woman. The people who have been talking about the rights of the adult parent to move on however quickly are not seeing the whole picture. Im hurt and lost. Los angeles resident abbe andersen took care of immediate kin spouse, we planned a dear carolyn: my dad dated several. I have been so shocked to read that so many daughters do not support their fathers happiness. And you did say this: Also, it's hard for me to really be 100% supportive for her when I am going through tons of grief as well. Which he did, but he seemed very needy and insecure. When I was packing my things she cried all day & refused to help us pack. I could really use some good advice on how to deal with all this. I lost my mother to cancer in November, my father enrolled in one of thoes dating web sites in December. He just told me that he wants me to call her or come by to wish her a Happy Mothers day, he says she wants to be a mother to me. Your Mom needs to go get a job. Everyone has to understand that I mean no harm and I resent everyone looking down on the GIRLFRIEND its become a dirty word to meI have not done any thing wrong.